Justin Bieber is being helped by a vocal coach to handle his puberty alerts on his vocal cords. His is struggling to his puberty voice breaking. Justin Bieber has hired one if the best vocal coach called Jan Smith. Jan Smith had also helped Usher handle is puberty vocal cords.

“Justin is physically developing at a slower rate than most guys so his voice is only breaking now. He’s working with the best in the business, a specialist called Jan Smith, to make sure he gets s much vocal rest as humanly possible for a working pop star," says a source.
 

I vividly remember the time I reached my puberty. I was probably the slowest grower in my class. At Form 2 I still stood at 143 cm. My voice was still like a chipmunk version of chipmunks. While my friends around me develop their adult voice, I was still chirping at high pitch. Somewhere deep down inside, I envy those people. That's because no one takes a kid with a kiddie voice seriously. Justin Bieber himself can assure you that. Ha ha ha.

And then 2002 came. That was the year of the boy bands. There was this boy band called "Blue" that I really fancied at that time. I always sing their songs in the shower and one day while I was singing to "Fly By", my voice cracked at Lee Ryan's "After daaaaaaaarkkkkkkkk!!!" part. Not those typical cracks that you sporadically encounter when conversing. It was a really massive hell of a crack that made my mom shouted "My kid is all grown up" from the kitchen. Then one thing led to another. My voice got deeper and deeper and deeper that it even freaked my little brother out when I talked to him on the phone.

Anywho, there are talks that puberty will be the downfall of Justin Bieber. Deep voice, facial hair and all that. Well, I don't really think that is going to be true though. Puberty is an awesome phase to go through. Instead of marking the downfall, it may even be the platform to rise that kid to ultimate stardom. And here are the reasons why.

1. Expanding the Market Reach

We all know that Justin Bieber's music is currently targeted towards the pre-pubescent teens. Clean cut image and the hairstye clearly prove that. However, with the puberty factor, Justin Bieber can tap other market. I would suggest the Cougar and MILF demographics. These people are the one who have money. Teens tend to milk the money out of their parents. Sometimes, when the parents are strict enough, they might not give their children the money needed to buy the new Justin Bieber's CD. There goes your potential sale.

This is not a cougar.

However, with the Cougars and the MILFs joining in the market, we can guarantee a consistent inflow of money because they handle their own spending budgets. They can go buy anything Bieber related if they want. They have got their own career and their own money. Besides, most Cougars are lonely inside after being treated badly by the older guys. This is when Justin Bieber could come into the picture, showing them what kids can do to make these people go "Hell yeah! I'd take that little kid on a little date".

Win win situation.

Cougars: One less lonely old girl who needs somebody to love.
Bieber: Another notch on the bedpost.
  
2. Statistics don't lie

Stats have shown that there are more people who become more successful after puberty than before reaching puberty. Duh. What did Bill Gates do before reaching puberty? Writing a tic-tac-toe program that no one gives a shit. After reaching puberty? He came up with Windows and became a billionaire so freaking bad (I can't help but to put the last 3 words). 

A mugshot of Bill Gates for traffic violation.

And how about Susan Boyle. Before reaching puberty she was a living speciment of an invisible woman. No one noticed her and no one wanted to. After reaching puberty, the table turned. She became an overnight internet sensation selling millions of records and suddenly every guy in the world want to make babies with her. The same thing can be said to other well known figures such as Nelson Mandela, George W. Bush, Soulja Boy and the whole crew of Far East Movement.

It can also happen to Justin Bieber so he should look forward to puberty.

3. The Reproduction Factor

Puberty means reaching enough physical maturity to begin the reproduction process of our species. Therefore, by reaching puberty, Justin Bieber can spread his seeds towards the whole world and create a worldwide generation of Bieber clones. These generation of Biebers can be utilized for marketing the father Bieber's albums and singles by performing those songs at any place in the world at the same time. This will surely create the Bieberfever 2.0 where every girl will get a chance to have their own Bieber. And these Biebers will reproduce and create Bieberfever 3.0 until the whole world is flooded with Biebers. Imagine having a neighbour who looks like a Bieber. Or even worse, imagine having a father who looks like a Bieber.

This multiplication of Biebers will bring us to the Biebers world domination and we will all be ruled by the Biebers. Every morning all of us will be forced to sing "Baby baby baby ohh" while the not-so-fair skinned demographics will be responsible to do the Ludacris part.


Trust me because I've got this perfect plan from a friend of mine who works with the Freemason thingy.

WE ARE SO SCREWED.

4 comments:

  1. You are screwed! haha. lucu, teringat blue ndah. ahhh those moments~

  1. ahaha.. best aie zaman skolah.. ada Radio 4.. hoho

  1. LOL zaman ya... radio 4 dh xda gik ow. pa nama baru nya tek?

  1. Traxx fm.. x commercial alu lok.. mok radio 4 juak bok best.. haha..

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