As we all can see, the vampires wave have hit the world really hard for the past few years. This trend causes a lot of young people to turn gothic. No more little kids dressing up as Nick Carters or Justin Timberlakes. Everybody wants to bring out this emo side of them where the more mysterious you look the better. Dark eyeliners and empty stares are the in things at the moment. I've tried to do this once, but I just couldn't get past the part where I have to apply the eyeliners. There's something about poking your eye with a pencil that makes me go "whaddaeff". I can't even wear contact lenses due to this phobia. I ended up doing this.

I'm a wuss. I know.

It was well documented that vampires can only be killed with a stake through the heart, mass burning or just by cutting the poor little thing's head off. If I was the one who were asked to be responsible to do any of those three things, I think I'd be the one who's dead instead. The stake MUST go through the heart for goodness sake. I didn't take biology in school so I wouldn't know where the heart is located. It's not like their body is transparent or something where it would be easier for me to aim for the inner parts. Even if it is transparent, I still wouldn't know how to differentiate between the heart and the lung or the pancreas or whatever. And who would know if the transcripts about the heart staking is meant to be a metaphor. The heart may refer to our inner heart and by staking it metaphorically would make it clean and pure. So heart staking might as well be persuading the vampires to do good deeds and all.

So, the question is why aren't there any other way to kill vampires. Vampires are like mosquitoes. Mosquitoes suck our blood and spread diseases. But they can be killed in multiple ways.We can use the conventional method of slapping the mosquitoes with our palms. We can deep fry them, poke a stick through their orifices and make mosquito kebabs. We can gently catch them by their wings and start plucking off their limbs one by one. We can put them inside washing machines and turn on the regular wash mode. We can wrap them in firecrackers and light them up during Hari Raya. Or we can apply what the bodybuilder in our local Shieldtox ads do which is by using his fist. (By the way, I still don't get it. How does he do it anyway?)

Vampires cannot go out during daytime because they can be burned by the UV rays. So can we just bring a portable Ultraviolet lamp and start shoving it to their face until they suffer from Sixth-degree Burning which is always fatal? Or we can tie them up and put them inside a huge blender. Hit the start button and see those freaks being liquidized into a pitful of Slurpee. Will they still be survive then? If that also fails, we could catapult them into the orbits and let them suffocate from the lack of oxygen in the outerspace. Every organism needs oxygen. I don't think the vampires are evolved enough to be able to perform photsynthesis to compensate for the lack of breathable air.

And if everything fails, we could always strap a headphone on their heads and start playing Justin Bieber's "Baby, baby, baby oohh" on repeat until they decide to kill themselves.



  1. Vampires cannot go out during daytime because they can be burned by the UV rays? Where the heck did you get that? Vampires GLITTER when they're exposed to sunlight. THAT'S A FACT. :D

    P/S: LOL at JB's photo.

  1. Damon Salvatore taught me that. Haven't you watched that series? I love how they make fun of Twilight. Hahaha.

  1. that bodybuilder guy is icon to the health ministry now.. haha... cegah pembiakan aedes, cegah denggi.. why must use that guy, why not try Azwan Ali or Mama Juwie.. sure all mosquitoes become "2 Alam".. haha




    read for the lulz xD

  1. sumi:
    hahaha.. cannot go la using mama juwie.. these vampires tak layak jadi 2 alam.. blom cukop kredibiliti lg.. dr rozmey je boley.. XD

    those links are awesome.. should i read them earlier, i don't think i would write this post due to inferioriy complex..

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