As usual, every time there is a price hike for petrol, we will get to see a lot of Facebook groups being created just to show their protests on this issue. And usually this page will be swamped with curses from retards with limited vocabulary since the only English words they know for cursing are "FUCKS" and "SUCKS". If you want to curse at least try to be creative. And I don't even rate "SUCKS" as a derogatory word anyway. It might be caused by my constant exposure to much worse profanity. I blame 4chan for that.

What's wrong with us Malaysians. Always get emotional over these sort of things. We always see the negativity in everything. Nobody even bothers to look at the bright side. When there were talks about the construction of Menara Warisan, nobody cares about the potential economic growth spurt that it may provide. All that they know is that it is a proper waste of government's money. When there were talks about teaching Science and Maths in English, everybody went against it because they don't want their kids to have a better command in English than them. If their kids know "FUCKS" and "SUCKS", it's already good enough - dah kira international standard already kan?

Is it because of our cultural upbringing that we were not programmed to see all the good stuff? I don't really know. Therefore, here I would like to point out to all of the retards the justifications for this rise in petrol price.

1. Global Oil Depletion

Even my little brother knows that petroleum are non-renewable energy resources. If any of you still don't have any idea what this is all about, you need to go back to Primary Four and read the Kajian Tempatan text book. Basically, it involves the heating of ancient fossilized organic materials for millions of years. And that is what the oil companies are digging right now. Something that took millions of years to be developed. Antique 1000-year-old shits would sell for millions these days. We should consider ourselves lucky that petroleum is not being sold at 1000 times that price. Ha ha ha.

These poor bastards committed suicide just for our cars.

Currently, the world consumption of oil is at 80 million barrels DAILY. A barrel here is equal to more or less 160 litres. Imagine spending 12.8 billion litres of oil everyday. Surely, we will come to a point where the wells dry up right? With a decreased quantity of reserve oil, the price will surely increases. Basic law of supply and demand. Therefore, we will experience the increase in price for petrol bit by bit to balance up the book. And what can we do to stop this price increase? Nothing. The price will keep increasing even if you switch to solar-powered vehicles. The price will increase even if you build your own oil rig on the Moon.

Heck, the price will still increase even if you genetically engineered yourself to be able to pee some petrol, sneeze some diesel and poo some liquid crude oil. It's the law of economics. Even the law of nature can't mess with the law of economics.

2. Reduces the Number of Mat Rempits

Majority of the Mat Rempits don't have much money because they consist of mainly school kids and the unemployed bastards. With the increase in oil price, these scums will surely have to cut their spendings on giving their bikes some fuel right? Therefore, there will be less illegal racing tournaments on the road. Things that go on a nightly basis will turn into a weekend event only. No more annoying noise from the cheap bikes as well.

A typical day for the professional mat rempits.

Besides that, the increase in oil price will also increase the price for cigarettes. And these scums smoke a lot. One pack of cigarettes may cost up to RM15. That amount of money is more than enough to buy Choki-Choki to curb their addiction. So, due to the lack of money, they will also cut on their smoking so that their lungs will be able to function correctly. This shows that despite all of the problems caused by the mat rempits, our government still show some mercy and devise a plan on how to mend these kids.

3. Alternative Mode of Transportation

Current fuel-powered vehicles suck up a huge portion of global daily petroleum consumption. Instead of complaining about how our money was all used up to feed our cars as if they were living things, why can't we just switch our mode of transportation into the one that does not consume fuel. No, I'm not talking about public transportation here. Some of us may think it's not classy to be seen in a bus or an LRT. And even buses and taxis consume fuel. The only effect that public transportations bring is the carpooling effect, which is to reduce the amount of fuel consumption by reducing the number of vehicles on the road. But still, the fuel consumption is there and it would still eat up the depleting oil reserve.

Therefore, we can do what our ancestors do. Use animals as a mode of transportation. Ride on a horse, a pony or a sleigh pulled by dogs. And if you're feeling a bit Islamic, you can ride on camels as well. That would be totally awesome. Hang plate numbers on their necks or just stamp plate numbers on their butts. Sure, JPJ would have a lot of job to do for the new database, but for the long term, this is a wicked plan.

Who needs luxury cars when we have this creature.

We can also pimp our rides up like they do on motorbikes nowadays. Add some sunglasses on our rides. Buy them shoes. Equip them with portable potties. Anything. Only your creativity level would be able to limit your achievements. There will be no more harmful emission that will destroy our ozone. Though our rides may fart sometimes, it won't affect our ozone much. Therefore, this will also help protect our Earth for the future generations. We should thank our goverment for this two-pronged effect.

4. Promotes Healthier Lifestyle

With the increase in oil price, other products will also need to increase their price as well. Sugar, salt, chicken and co would be so expensive that we would have to adopt a healthy diet. A lot of Malaysians suffer from obesity and diabetes. And by "a lot", I really mean a lot. Everytime I look in the mirror, I would see an obese. Ha ha ha.

Therefore, to solve this problem, we could try to start our own vegetable field at the back of our home. For the ones who live in flats or apartments, we could buy hidroponic sets and start planting the veggies. We could also start to breed our own chickens and cows as well if you can't eat veggies. This will surely make our Earth greener and release a lot of fresh oxygen into air due to the photosynthesis process that our veggies do. This will result in a super generation where everything that we consume is organic and will increase our average lifespan by approximately 7.2 years.

When I said green veggies, I didn't mean marijuana.

5. Leads to the Construction of Dino Farms

However, if we still want to consume petrols, there is no other way to go around it except for constructing some Dino Farms. As we all know, petroleum are formed from the fossils of these ancient creatures. Therefore, in these farms, we will take some stem cells from the dinosaur fossils in the National Museum and start cloning them in masses. These dinosaurs can also be sold at high price for Point Number 3. Imagine having a T-Rex as a ride. That would be very intimidating.

Jesus on dinosaurs would be even more intimidating.

Anyway, in this farm, the dinosaurs would be grown for a few years, nurtured with healthy food and after a while we can slaughter them to death. Afterwards, we can bury them under the ground and let them turn into petroleum after 3 million years. 3 million years is a really long time but the wise people always remind us to plan one step ahead. So, basically if you plan for 3 million steps ahead, you are 3 million times smarter than these stupid wise men. Ha ha ha.

In conclusion, we can say that the increase in oil price is not a huge problem like people assume. The bigger problem is on how to train our dinosaurs like we train our domestic pets. This clever plan may backfire if these dinosaurs suddenly decide to rip our heads off. I think that would deserve more worries than the oil price. 



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