Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.

Who would not know these superheroes. I'm quite certain that all of this blog readers have watched this somewhere in their life. Being the 80's kids and stuff. The Power Rangers were like the most kick-ass bunch of youths that spend their free time kicking the monsters in the ass. I bet their daily conversation would be

Zack: Hey Jason, I'm bored. Let's go kill some monsters.
Jason: Hold on, Zordon just took a poo. Let me clean up his excrements first.
Zack: Just leave it there dude. Alpha can take care of that.
Alpha: Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi

I'm pretty sure that if 20% of the world's teenage population follow these guys footsteps, there will be no more juvenile crimes. No more 'mat rempit's, druggies and 'budak-budak perasan indie' making a fool out of themselves. But it would increase the amount of cosplayers though. Quite annoying, I must say.

I've always watched the Power Rangers together with my cousins. We would then fight over who among us would be the Red Ranger. Red Ranger is like the coolest alpha male among the bunch. Everyone wants to be one. Of course my female cousin would get to pick Pink and one unfortunate male cousin would pick the Yellow one. In the end, I always ended up being the Blue Ranger just because Billy wears glasses. It's too bad being the only kid with glasses at 7. Being discriminated even at such a young age sucks. Ugh.

I have to admit that watching Power Rangers had taught me a lot during my childhood time. Here are some of the lessons that I have learnt.

1. Red is the Strongest Colour in the World

Almost every generation of Power Rangers were led by the Red Rangers. The Red Rangers will always be the ones who stand in the centre of the group, commanding their teammates with impulsive winning strategies, taking all the limelight. They would also be the ones who have the coolest weapon and robots. Jason, the first Red Ranger got a Tyrannosaurus Dinozord, a carnivorous and fierce looking dinosaur which can rip other dinosaur's heart out with its sharp claw.

And what did I get? The fat, herbivorous, sissy Triceratops who has three dicks on its head. I know. It sucks to be me. Those were the times when I'd like to save up some of my duit raya for a quick laser surgery.

2. Morphine is a Drug

When I was little, I always wonder what does morphin in Mighty Morphin Power Rangers actually mean. I know nothing about English at that time and I don't even know that Morphin is the shorter form for 'morphing'. The closest word that I've got in my dictionary was morphine. So I thought it was the same thing.

Then I started telling my classmates that the Power Rangers use some sort of drug in their Power Morphers. If we got these drugs and smear them on coins, we will be able to make our own Power Morphers. And they all would just believe me. I'm such a bastard. Ha ha ha. Imagine the look on my Dad's face when I asked my Dad with an innocent look to buy me some morphine so that I can turn into a Power Ranger.

And I still remember that the theme song for the Power Rangers went like "Go go go Power Rangers, go go Power Rangers, Mighty *bzz* *bzz* Power Rangerrrrssss". Who ever said that Malaysian censorship is awful? This is just genius, man.

3. Humans Are Made From soil

Remember these guys?

They are called Putty Patrollers and act as the soldiers of the villains. I don't think they were created to do some damage on the Power Rangers. They were more like the punching bags just so that the Power Rangers can warm up before the real fight. See, the villains are not that bad you know. Without warming up, the Power Rangers can hurt themselves while doing all those acrobatic moves.

However, the thing is, these Putties were created by Finster using some soil-like materials in his machine. This made me believe that human beings were created from soil as well. And that is long before my ustazah taught me this fact in school. So, it is safe to say that the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers syllabus is much more advanced than the one that I learnt during my Fardhu 'Ain class. Ha ha ha.

4. The Villains Are Not That Bad

I have discussed this issue among my mates in school before (you guys know who you are) and we can conclude that the villains are kind hearted. I mean, we know that they have prepared the Putties as warming up materials for the Power Rangers right? There are a lot of other things that the villains have done to ensure that the Power Rangers would win.

These include:

i. Sending down a miniature version of the monster before growing them up in the end of the show. They could always send down giant monsters and crush the human-form Power Rangers with their feet right? But they won't. "That wouldn't be fair", they said.

ii. Letting the monsters wait for a few minutes while the Dinozords disassemble their mechanical parts slowly in order to combine to form a Thunderzord. They could just smash the robots in small pieces during this process. Or worse, they could take a few bolts and screws during the transformation so that the Thunderzord would be an unbalanced, shaky piece of junk. But they won't. "That wouldn't be fair", they said.

iii. Attacking the same city again and again even though they know that the Power Rangers Headquarters is located over there. They could always attack multiple cities around the world at the same time right? They have got the resources. Their monsters are abundant. Send down 255 monsters to all countries in this world and what would the Power Rangers do? They have only got five people. But again, they won't. "That wouldn't be fair", they said.

So, basically, what Power Rangers have taught me is that we need to support Liverpool, we need to do drugs, we need to skip Fardhu' Ain classes and we need to be thankful to the villains. No wonder I have became the man that I am right now. Ha ha ha.

David Yost, who played the Blue Ranger on the hugely successful kids series Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, recently admitted that he was discriminated against over his sexuality. The actor, now 41, says he quit the show because he was harassed. “I was called ‘faggot’ one too many times [by the show’s] creators, producers, writers, directors,” he shared. David added, “I know that my costars were called in a couple of times to different producers’ offices and questioned about my sexuality, which is kind of a humiliating experience to find that out.”